it's been a looooong time..

reader (s).. hello!! i apologize for this delay.. as you could tell from my last post, i had a little bit of mental clearing to do.. don't worry i wasn't in bed worrying and being sad.. i just needed to take some time for myself and to get back to where i felt i needed to be mentally.. i guess i'm kind of there.. we'll see :)

the last time i wrote it was all the way back in June.. about 2 months ago.. i'm approaching d-day!!! i cannot wait.. no, seriously.. i can't.. i will be at 35 weeks in 2 days and if lyla decides to join us in the next 2-3 weeks i will be the happiest mama in the world.. why so anxious? well.. let me update you on what's been going on the last few months.. so, pregnancy comes with all sorts of physical changes.. and they vary depending on the trimester.. so in the beginning.. some of us have to deal with nausea, bloating.. flatulence.. general "bla" feeling.. being so tired that we don't even make it to the bed which is a few feet away!! i also dealt with insomnia.. which was a first for me.. i now feel for everyone that has issues sleeping.. how is it even possible to be so tired and yet not be able to sleep?? it's a complete and total mystery to me.. we then move on to the 2nd trimester.. which is pure bliss.. back to feeling like ourselves.. not big enough to be uncomfortable just yet.. it's literally called the "honeymoon phase" of pregnancy.. now i know why.. which brings us to the 3rd trimester.. and in all honesty.. i know my case is unique.. but just like everything i write about on here.. this is my personal experience.. so here we go..

a little over a month ago i woke up to a horrible leg cramp.. i've never been flexible and having an even bigger belly in the way.. it was hard to reach my calf.. which also happened to be tangled in the covers.. i pulled and who knows what i did.. but i eventually was able to massage the pain away.. or so i thought.. later that day i noticed that i was walking weird.. not putting any pressure on a specific part of my foot.. i thought nothing of it.. this continued for a few days.. and as you all know.. when you overcompensate for one area of your body.. it will start being felt in another.. now i had my left foot which was off.. plus my right knee.. so i went to a podiatrist.. being pregnant, he couldn't do an x-ray but did an ultrasound on my foot, which was odd.. he confirmed we were having a baby girl.. lol :) anyway.. turns out i had some internal inflammation which would go away with advil.. but guess what.. you cannot take advil while pregnant.. or any anti-inflammatories for that matter.. he assured me it would go away just as randomly as it came..

it has now been about 5 weeks.. i limp everywhere.. my feet and ankles are unrecognizable and there are times i just look at them and think.. WHAT ARE YOU?? i know we pregnant ladies swell in certain areas.. but it is to the point of ridiculous.. i used to wear a size 7 or 7.5 or 8... depending on the cut of shoe.. i can BARELY fit into a 9 today.. i mean.. come on now.. trust me, i'm not the girl that harps on what size i am.. i stopped being that girl once i hit the double digits.. but as every "full-figured" girl knows.. we take pride in our shoes.. and their size.. so that's gone out the window now.. to recap, i am hobbling because of my internal inflammation.. waddling because my belly has pretty much taken over.. having back problems because of baby AND i haven't seen my feet in weeks or remember what my ankles look like.. welcome to the 3rd trimester..

this post has pretty much been a rant.. i know.. but i had to put it out there so that i can move on and focus on what's important here.. i know that this is all going to be worth it the second i see our little girl.. chances are.. i will have another baby or two after this.. i know this.. even my friend that i wrote about last time.. she only got to be a mama for a few minutes.. even she said it was all worth it.. and she hardly had a chance to enjoy her baby.. i seriously cannot wait to meet lyla.. i know she will continue to change my life.. she already has in so many ways, in all honesty.. jeremy and i can't seem to talk about much else.. she's already such a huge part of our lives.. sometimes it's hard to imagine what it was like before her.. weird, no? we still have so much to do to prepare for her arrival.. and in the beginning i was so nervous about labor.. and another friend of mine said it best.. she said.. when you get closer to your due date.. all you're going to want is to get this baby out.. however it happens.. you won't even care anymore.. she went on to say that the 40 weeks are more for us to prepare than for the baby.. it's making much more sense now.. i know labor won't be easy.. it can't be.. but i also know that it is probably even harder on our baby girl.. she has NO idea what's coming her way in a few weeks.. so i will focus on that.. it may be hard for me.. but at least i know what's happening.. it will be over in a few hours.. and then we get to officially start our family.. i cannot cannot cannot wait..

oh yeah.. before i sign off.. we started a baby pool.. it's $5 to pick a birth date.. i am going with september 25th and jeremy's going with the 29th.. we have dates ranging from september 19th to october 8th.. she's due october 5th and even though they say the first baby usually is late.. i think lyla will follow in my footsteps and be early.. just like i was.. after all, she is my baby girl!! :)

anxious cuppy