and the odds are..

hi - it's been a crazy few weeks and i apologize to my readers (hey, let me dream) for not updating sooner.. did i mention that i haven't slept through the night in over a month?? yeah, initially i thought it was the jet lag.. but i've always traveled well.. so during one of my loooooong and restless nights.. i decided to google sleep problems in the first trimester.. and guess what?? it afflicts over 70% of us.. from mild to severe.. for someone that's never had sleep problems, i was baffled - i read everything.. tried everything.. and you know what eventually ended up working? our last weekend in phoenix, arizona.

jeremy is a HUGE dodger fan.. and yet he's never been to spring training, so since the dodgers moved their facilities to phoenix, we decided to go for the weekend.. not being a baseball lover myself, i have to say that i had a great time.. we got there friday night.. i slept for about 3-4 hours.. (from 5-6:30 and then again till 8:30).. we spent the ENTIRE day at the baseball facility, hanging out with friends.. watching them drink lovely margaritas and beers.. i consoled myself with an ice-cold lemonade.. it actually did the trick! :) afterwards, we went out for an early dinner and ended up back at someone's house who lives in arizona.. actually the sister of one of jeremy's co-workers.. for those of you that live in LA or NYC, you understand how crazy it is when we walk into homes in other cities.. in all honesty.. her house is HUGE.. 5 bedrooms.. with the option of a 6th.. giant bathrooms.. walk-in closets.. for a couple and their dog.. and a snake.. they plan on filling the house with kids.. but can you even fathom all that space?? living in a one bedroom, it's hard for me to imagine.. maybe one day.. anywayyyy.. we got back to our hotel room at about midnight and i was EXHAUSTED!! i thought.. yes, this is it.. i will sleep through the night tonight for sure!! i was wrong.. another few hours here and there.. and then.. wait for it.. two nights ago (sunday night).. i slept through the entire night.. i didn't want to chance it.. maybe it was a fluke.. but it happened again last night.. can i tell you how excited i am??? i feel like me again!!! :)

so.. the test.. we went in last week for that BUN test.. sometimes also called an NT test.. or something like that.. anyway.. i'm 32.. so right off the bat.. my odds of a baby with a genetic issue.. is that the PC way of saying that?? anyway.. my odds of having a child with any sort of genetic problem was 1 in 380.. based on my age alone.. i guess we're supposed to be having kids in our 20's.. maybe my mom wasn't wrong... lol.. oh well :P anyway.. they then did the ultrasound where they managed to jiggle my belly around so puncakes would move around and show them that it indeed had two arms, two legs.. one belly.. and whatever else they were checking for.. we even heard the heartbeat!!! it was super fast 170 beats per minute (bpm) and when i heard it.. i had a moment of HOLY SH*T.. there's really someone in there!!!! i know, i've had almost 2 months to adjust to the positive pregnancy test.. but i just can't imagine that there's an actual baby in my belly.. that at this time next year.. said baby will be almost 6 months old.. honestly, isn't that insane????

ok.. back to the test.. so after they did the ultrasound and the doctor checked it all out.. they told me my odds were now 1 in 2000.. basically moving in the right direction! :) since i had my blood test done previously.. they called my OBGYN and factored in the blood test which then dropped my odds to 1 in 8000 something.. how awesome is that?? i'm super relieved to hear those numbers.. and though i didn't really picture it going any other way.. it's still crazy to believe that there are parents that are going to go into that appointment super happy and giddy about being pregnant.. and not all of us will be lucky enough to hear such good news.. trust me, i'm very well aware of how lucky we are.. thank you.. thank you.. that's really all i can say..

before i sign off.. i have an update on that ethical dilemma from last time.. as you know, i've been unemployed for the last 18 months.. it's been hard.. it's been frustrating and at times.. it's been lonely and depressing.. i have handled it as best as i know how.. but obviously i am still applying to jobs.. in the hopes that someone somewhere sees my resume.. and guess what?? today.. i got a call... and next week i have an interview.. i will be interviewing with 3 different people.. one's in HR.. one's the person who this position reports to.. and the last is a VP.. this was all just hypothetical in the last post.. but now this is real and coming up.. so i'm debating who to tell.. i know that legally i don't have to say anything to anyone.. supposedly i can wait for a job offer.. accept.. start the job and THEN mention.. oh hey.. guess what? i'll be going on maternity in about 5 months.. for me, that doesn't seem like the best option.. i would like to be honest.. but i also want to be in the running for this position.. so the question is.. when do i say something.. and to whom?? jeremy and i debated it.. we both agree that if the interviews are going well.. then i should mention something to the person that i would be reporting to (if hired).. my bff says that i should try to find out how many rounds of interviews there are.. and if more than this one.. wait till i'm in the final set of candidates standing.. i understand that logic as well.. so cyberspace.. any thoughts??

confused cuppycake

one down, bigger one to come..

today is march 15th - meaning that i went in and got that ultrasound that i was kind of nervous about.. but not to worry, all is well!! puncakes is even starting to look like a real baby.. teeny tiny bent legs and all, super cute!! the last few days have been rough.. with jet lag and a lovely cold i have been a complete mess - slept all day yesterday and therefore am back on my european inner clock.. though i was never even really on it while there, go figure. i will be taking benadryl tonight, turns out that's allowed even in the first trimester, so yay!! :)

so the test next week, on the 25th specifically is called the BUN test (i guess i wasn't making that up last time) so now that's what i am stressing about. the thing is that the test doesn't say anything definitive, just tells you how likely down syndrome is based on the fluid behind the neck, my age and whatever other factors go into it. i am going to try to not stress from now till then, it's probably not possible, but i will do my best.

this weekend, we are planning on telling the rest of our family - so far, only our parents know, siblings and super close friends (that may as well be siblings). a part of me wants to tell every single person that i see, but then i don't want to jinx anything.. you hear horror stories all the time and i am hoping to avoid that, though how me talking about it changes anything, i have no idea.. that's just me being paranoid.. so hi, nice to meet you - this is who i am.

a little more about me, i'm currently unemployed and still applying to jobs - i am debating the moral / ethical dilemma of this. the fact is this, i apply to jobs all the time, i hardly ever hear back.. i have had about 4 interviews in over a year but i'm still wondering - should i keep applying? i mean, it's going to be pretty obvious that i'm pregnant soon enough and i can't imagine any company wanting to hire someone that will need to go on maternity leave soon. but another part of me thinks that if i do get an interview in the next month or so, i won't be showing yet so am i obligated to say anything if made an offer?? i don't want to mislead anyone, but i also don't want to screw my own chances over - i keep going back and forth on this, but it's all hypothetical since i need to actually get an interview first and an offer second.

ok - well that's all for now, i made the best dinner ever tonight. the whole time we were in italy i was craving this meal and tonight, i finally made it.. potatoes.. chicken topped with garlic, cilantro, olive oil and lemon juice baked in the oven.. i'm debating going in for round 2.. but i will just have to wait till tomorrow (if possible).

goodnight everyone.. sleep well!

cuppycake

the story behind puncakes

we found out we were pregnant on january 29th, 2010 - after 3 negative pregnancy tests, the 4th came out positive. i was shocked, maybe i shouldn't have been, but i was. when i first saw the faint double lines, i thought "no freaking way, this test can't be right" - so i went and got an easy to read test, simple enough - it says pregnant or not pregnant, guess which one i got?

i guess i shouldn't have been too shocked, i just didn't realize what a fertile combination my husband and i make! we've now been married for a little over a year and were planning on TRYING for a baby in 2010. turns out we're 1/1 which brings us to puncakes.

puncakes is what we have named this baby, it's a combination of what i call him "punkin" and what he calls me "cuppycake" - we think it's cute. next baby will be cuppykin, i'm sure you're all following that train of thought :)

as i write this, we are approximately 10 weeks and 3 days along - morning sickness has reared its occasional head as well as bloating, constipation and gas - this is a very sexy time for me. speaking of sexy times, we just got back from our long-planned honeymoon! we had our trip planned for over 7 months, we thought it would be just the two of us, but puncakes came along and behaved for the most part. we went to roma, firenze, cinque terre and ended with milano - it was a fantastic time for the three of us.

about jeremy - he's my baby daddy, he's also my husband and best friend. i lovers him with everything that i have and i cannot imagine raising a family with anyone else. i am very close to my own daddy-o and i know how important a good father figure is for the development of a child (at least it has been in my experience). we are both a little overwhelmed at this pregnancy and i sometimes feel bad for him because of all the ridiculous questions that i have, but honestly.. when baby poops / pukes / farts, where does it go?? i can't imagine i'm the first mama-to-be that wonders that.

since we just came back from italy, our next ultrasound is a very important one for us. i go in on monday march 15th which will mark us just short of 11 weeks. i have done my research, i'm generally a pretty curious (or nosy, whichever you prefer) person so i know that statistically, we are not in the clear yet. i am hoping that all goes well on the 15th and that puncakes decides to stay with us forever and ever and ever. it's funny how all my stress is for the 15th when there is an even bigger test on the 25th - but the way i figure it goes like this, if the 15th doesn't go well, then the 25th won't matter. what happens on the 25th? i am not going to pretend i know the technical name (maybe it's a BUN test, i might have just made that up??) but basically, they're going to go in there and check something in the neck which will signify the likelihood of a baby with down syndrome - honestly, i had no idea they could check for that so early on, but i guess 12 + weeks is when that test happens.

i hope to slowly learn the lingo and what goes on in the next few months, as you can probably tell, i'm not very well-versed in this whole pregnancy thing, but i guess all mamas started out this way? oh, here's a fun fact for everyone that has not had a baby yet, did you know that they calculate the 40 weeks of pregnancy based on your last period?? how odd is that?? so basically you are 2 weeks pregnant BEFORE you are actually pregnant, it's confusing, i know.. but that's seriously how they do it. that is, unless you know your specific conception date which is not that common it seems (january 9th in our case.. hands down, 100% sure - is that too much information??)

ok reader (or readers dare i say?) - i will continue to update this with any questions or thoughts i will have in the upcoming days, weeks and months. i hope that this blog entertains you, educates you and / or makes you shake your head in amazement (whether it's the ridiculousness of my questions or anything else that may come up in the next few months).

cuppycake