one down, bigger one to come..

today is march 15th - meaning that i went in and got that ultrasound that i was kind of nervous about.. but not to worry, all is well!! puncakes is even starting to look like a real baby.. teeny tiny bent legs and all, super cute!! the last few days have been rough.. with jet lag and a lovely cold i have been a complete mess - slept all day yesterday and therefore am back on my european inner clock.. though i was never even really on it while there, go figure. i will be taking benadryl tonight, turns out that's allowed even in the first trimester, so yay!! :)

so the test next week, on the 25th specifically is called the BUN test (i guess i wasn't making that up last time) so now that's what i am stressing about. the thing is that the test doesn't say anything definitive, just tells you how likely down syndrome is based on the fluid behind the neck, my age and whatever other factors go into it. i am going to try to not stress from now till then, it's probably not possible, but i will do my best.

this weekend, we are planning on telling the rest of our family - so far, only our parents know, siblings and super close friends (that may as well be siblings). a part of me wants to tell every single person that i see, but then i don't want to jinx anything.. you hear horror stories all the time and i am hoping to avoid that, though how me talking about it changes anything, i have no idea.. that's just me being paranoid.. so hi, nice to meet you - this is who i am.

a little more about me, i'm currently unemployed and still applying to jobs - i am debating the moral / ethical dilemma of this. the fact is this, i apply to jobs all the time, i hardly ever hear back.. i have had about 4 interviews in over a year but i'm still wondering - should i keep applying? i mean, it's going to be pretty obvious that i'm pregnant soon enough and i can't imagine any company wanting to hire someone that will need to go on maternity leave soon. but another part of me thinks that if i do get an interview in the next month or so, i won't be showing yet so am i obligated to say anything if made an offer?? i don't want to mislead anyone, but i also don't want to screw my own chances over - i keep going back and forth on this, but it's all hypothetical since i need to actually get an interview first and an offer second.

ok - well that's all for now, i made the best dinner ever tonight. the whole time we were in italy i was craving this meal and tonight, i finally made it.. potatoes.. chicken topped with garlic, cilantro, olive oil and lemon juice baked in the oven.. i'm debating going in for round 2.. but i will just have to wait till tomorrow (if possible).

goodnight everyone.. sleep well!

cuppycake